I would like to buy some kindness, please.

So I'm at work yesterday, consciously thinking about being kind. Waiting for the opportunity to be nicer to people, to open a door, to give a smile and maybe a hearty "Hello!". I feel like a sitcom character who tells his family, "I'm really going to change this time" and there's a montage of all the nice deeds he does before he explodes in anger (cue laugh track) . . . .

Now I'm doing all of this consciousness while I'm cleaning out my office email. I come across a request from our CEO about Haiti. You remember Haiti, major earthquake, thousands dead, no resources and a slightly paranoid government. Sad but they had their 15 minutes of compassion, it was a good story while it lasted but the news doesn't give them top billing any more.

My employer asked for personal donations, which they would match, for relief funds that were helping Haiti (the corporation was giving a large check in addition). I didn't give right away because I recalled that back around 9/11, someone had found out that their "act of kindness" donation was not being used directly for the victims but to fund the larger organization. It was an "ah hah" moment for many people that chided themselves into believing that when you send money to a charity, it goes directly to the people that need it. Ask any girl scout troop mother how much of the price of the cookies goes to the troop and reality will slap you in the face like a wet towel.

I think it's a real calling in people to work for charitable organizations. The work is an invaluable source of kindness towards others. The question is, does it count as a true act of kindness for me if I am another step removed?

I'm not "on the ground" helping people, I'm not working at the organization that runs the show, I just stuff money into an envelope and send it off with the hope that others can do the work I don't think I have time to do.

What if you are closer to the end source of the money you donate? I give money to the local first aid squad every year but that's partially selfish. I want my locals to have the best training and equipment so that if I'm in an emergency, they can use it on me. I mean, if you are having a heart attack do you want to find out that the local first aid squad couldn't afford a "defib" machine because of a lack of donations (. . . stay away from the light! . . . )?

I think giving money to charities is an act of kindness. It may not give you the feeling of connecting with others that helping a neighbor has or in a random act of kindness for that old lady at the supermarket but it's a kindness nonetheless. It's part of the mosaic of giving that makes us feel like we are part of something bigger.

So for my acts of kindness, I did wish a Happy Birthday to the girl in my office (it was her birthday after all). I did talk to that crazy woman to see if she was alright during the snow storm yesterday and I did send the money to Haiti, including making sure my company matched my gift.